Nule A Chié

Time 2021-10-28 14:04:09

Web Name: Nule A Chié

WebSite: http://nuleachie.blogspot.com

ID:214111

Keywords:

Nule,Chi,

Description:

keywords:
description:
skip to main | skip to sidebarNule A Chié

Lighthearted commentary on the lamer points of our world.

Sunday, March 7, 2010 Mail-In RebatesJust because something sucks doesn't mean it's not a good idea. In fact, the nature of one person's set of favorable circumstances is fundamentally predicated on a set of proportionally unfavorable circumstances for somebody else. So the mail-in rebate business is not just a good idea, it's a great idea. The innovator of this Barmecidal alternative to a sale price understood that appearances are what really matter. They also figured out a thing or two about some basic psychological tendencies exhibited by humans.

The initial motivation to mail in a moderate rebate typically degenerates into a period of lethargy; if the sum is only a few dollars, you don't feel compelled to send it in right away. The charlatans already know that they will never even have to lift a finger and never pay back at least half of the money they owe.

What's a few more days? You rationalize that you'll get around to it on the weekend when you have time to fill out the paperwork. After all, the company has granted you a few weeks to get the thing postmarked. But everyone knows procrastination is the younger brother of forgetfulness and apathy. Besides, focus is passe these days. Eventually, that precious little slip of paper disappears off the dresser or nightstand. But it's alright, you rationalize, because it was just four dollars.

Whatever. Four dollars won't break the bank, you tell yourself. You and hundreds of thousands of your like-minded consumerist friends. Indeed, after the deadline has passed, somewhere in an office park in Alpharetta, Georgia an accountant gleefully informs the manager that their fecund bank account has engendered a few more commas. They shake hands and go out to lunch. It's a business lunch so of course they write it off.

And you are happy, too. What's the point of beating yourself up over a lousy four bucks? You get over it quickly. Humans are resilient creatures. It's absolutely true that life is too short to lose sleep over such a trivial sum. You probably never felt your wallet become lighter when you bought the product in the first place. Chances are you just gave the girl at the register your debit card and she swiped it through the thing and gave it back. Then you walked out with the camera or small electronic trinket, so actually the net transfer of weight was in your favor. As you strolled to your car, you complemented yourself on your fiscal prudence.

But even if you do remember to cut out the UPC and even if you manage to wade through the minuscule anfractuosity printed on the foot long accompanying scroll and even if you fill out the forms correctly you still have to mail it on time.

Note: When I write, "you" I'm talking about me.

There are so many calculated pitfalls to circumvent when dealing with most rebates that ultimately, I'd rather save myself the stress of worrying about it. The corporations are going to get my money one way or the other, so I'd just as soon hold on to my piece of mind and let them fight for the spoils. I envision the mountebanks running these rebate circuses as amorphous shadows barking out unintelligible orders to their impish underlings in an empty, dimly lit tent. They hover around a large metal disc in the center, twitching nervously, their mouth and eye tics at the mercy of icy neural synapses, as they mumble to each other, carefully hatching some new plot to beguile the consumer.

Totally Nule A Chié.

The drive to actually succeed in claiming what's rightfully yours is strengthened when you're buying complex and expensive robotic electronica. Office copiers, computers and whatnot. However, as nothing comes without a price, the road to the rebate is fraught with proportionately more peril as the amount increases. You're not getting it that easy. The path is littered with camouflaged claymores in the form of fine print. Underline here. Sign there. Circle above, or else--VOID.

If your proof of purchase doesn't arrive on time--Rien. If you fill out the form incorrectly--Rien. But if your diligence pays off and the check arrives ten to twelve weeks later, cash that sucker immediately. Because at midnight that coveted little rectangular delusion, decorated with watermarks and someone's elegant signature bestowing imaginary value upon its carbon skeleton, will quietly revert back to just another worthless piece of paper that only further clutters your trash can and your conscience.Posted bySebastian Albuat11:20 PMNo comments: Thursday, March 4, 2010 LameLet me begin by telling you that I think one percent of everything that happens in the world is a combination of impulse and chance. The other ninety-nine percent is derivedfrom monetary considerations. Stress and anxiety are spawned from financial woes. The once proud bellow of freedom has been muted by the pompous bullhorn of consumerism. Comfort has become a general malaise and happiness a mirage obfuscated by material wealth and anomie. With every new ointment promising to pump vigor into our already flaccid existence we grow more distant from one another and technology that claims to bring us closer together only wedges us further apart.

More rules and laws are born each year, many of them veiled and sinister, yet somehow we still believe that we are the ones deciding our own fate because we wait hours in line to fill out a ballot. The ones who are really in charge usually aim to steal from the ignorant, control those who feel that their worldly possessions constitute "something to lose," and make gruesome examples of the opposition. That's nule a chié.

Don't confuse me with a communist. They are among the most despicable of all the degenerates with an agenda--and there are many. Real communists dream of megalomania. The other young, dumb ones are simply naive. Labels in general are lame, but I suppose you could call me an absurd atheist. I am convinced, however, that close observation and a thorough dissection of the human heart reveals man's intrinsic flaws and though this inevitably leads to cynicism and alienationfor anyone who takes a peek, I wholeheartedly believe that we are all inextricably bound to each other whether we like it or not.

We are utterly alone, yet the reverberations of our actions travel along the threads ofan intricate and infinite webbing--sometimes flimsy, sometimes taut, butforeverunbreakable--until they eclipse the scope of our existence, though they are never diluted or dissipated; they are simply funneled along and absorbedbyother entities which in turnswim throughtheir own pelagic worlds sendingmultitudes of their own vibrations rippling throughan infinite abyss.

Yeah, OK...I know. Blah, blah, blah. Nobody wants toswallow somebody else's intangible blather. Existentialism is dead. Sartre was eaten by maggots a long time ago. Too many commas and not enough periods equala dead blogand I want you to read this so here's the point: I'm overwhelmed by the state of the world. Things are out of control. We are sheep, or worse--toothless zombies gumming each other to death. That's lame. Nule A Chié.

We live in a Schadenfreude society. Dig deep. Deeper...deeper. See, you are a sadist after all! Relax. Hating is fun. If it wasn't the Celebrity Dead Pool wouldn't exist, Amelie Gillette wouldn't have a column in The Onion and The Enquirer and Star would have gone out of print a long time ago. Hating is fun, I tell you and thereisplenty out there deserving of a slice.Posted bySebastian Albuat12:38 PMNo comments: HomeSubscribe to:Posts (Atom)FollowersBlog Archive 2010(2) March(2) Mar 07(1)Mail-In Rebates Mar 04(1)About MeSebastian AlbuView my complete profile

TAGS:Nule Chi 

<<< Thank you for your visit >>>

Hot Websites