Bob's Blips

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skip to main | skip to sidebar Saturday, January 16, 2010 Crossing the final finish line
Sadly to report, Daddy completed his last earthly marathon and crossed the finish line into Heaven on January 13, 2010 at 5:07PM. Mom was with him at the time and had been there most of the day stroking his hair, rubbing his back and telling him how much she and all of us loved him. LeRoy had been spending the nights with him for several nights providing him love and comfort knowing family was with him in his last hours. Cindy, Jeremy and his family were in route to Tulsa at the time and I was in OKC caring for my Billy who had just come home 2 hours before from the hospital after having MAJOR open heart surgery to replace a defective valve and aortic root. Fortunately Mom called each of us and put the phone to Dad's ear and let us all tell him good bye and it was ok to leave us which was very comforting to us. The Hospice nurses said hearing is the last to go and we wanted so badly to tell him one more time how much we loved him.

I know many of you are still in shock since my last blog indicated he was thinner but was still up and walking a bit, however, that changed drastically in just 3 weeks. He quit eating and drinking and refused to allow anyone to feed him. He lost down to 143 lbs. and being 6'2", that was way too thin. Mom had visited Dad on the 6th right before she came to OKC to help me with the animals and the house while Bill had his surgery. She cried all the way to OKC saying he just looked terrible, she knew the time was near. Bill had his surgery Thursday and the nurse called on Friday suggesting we bring in Hospice. I sent Mom home on Saturday to be with Dad and she was every day until he passed on Wednesday. Cindy and the kids arrived at 3:00AM Thursday and have been such a blessing to Mom. We were able to view Dad's body prior to his cremation and it was very healing to us, very sad, but healing.

You all know the jokester Dad was and it's been passed down to each of us kids, grandkids and even his great-grandkids. He made life fun for us kids and was always doing something silly to make us laugh and forever wanted us to pull his finger so he could release gas. Well...while we were all in the viewing room Friday, everyone was crying and I tried to lighten the mood by pulling little Kade's fingers and telling him the story of finger pulling and his great-grandfather. It wasn't 10 seconds later when he let out a big long FART! Yes, he did and one that Daddy would be proud of! Little Kade Robert is only 3 months old and was named after Daddy. It's too bad Daddy never got to see or hold him but I'm sure he heard him all the way up in Heaven!

We had a great childhood and our parents were the best parents in the world as far as I'm concerned. We had friends over every weekend for sleep overs, we could take our mattresses outside and "camp" in the back yard. We went to lake Tenkiller almost every weekend in the summer and we each (3 of us) took a friend so there would be 6 kids in the back of a small station wagon! We had horses, cats, dogs, hamsters, chickens and skunks...and I'm sure more but I can't remember all of the critters!

Cindy and I discuss all the time all of the things our parents taught us. How to use a hammer, chainsaw, change a flat tire, shingle a roof, repair a gas leak to a stove without blowing up the house, drive a stick shift in a 1948 Pontiac, how to water ski, fish and most of all, how to be a good person. We were allowed to be kids, we could stay out all day riding our horses, our bikes,go carts or skate boards and come home to hamburgers cooked on the gas grill, brownies with marshmallow centers and a movie. One day Dad tried to help me remove a metal fine toothed comb that I had rolled into my hair. He tried and tried to untangle the mess and finally had to cut it out. I had a weird haircut for some time but he had the patience of Jobe. I remember when we were sick, he would always heat up a dish cloth over the heater vent and wrap it around our necks smothered in Vick's vapor rub and safety pin it and sit with us on the couch until we fell asleep. One night before we moved Dad to Brighton Gardens I was helping him to bed and I started thinking of how much I loved my parents and how sad it was to see their relationship changing and I began to cry while laying my head on his chest. He held me close to him and said "I hope everything works out for you"! It made me laugh and yet I knew he was still trying to comfort me like only my Daddy knew how to do. It felt as though I had a warm dish cloth wrapped around my neck! We had a great childhood and I have no regrets except that I will miss him terribly and miss all of the fun times we had as a family.

It's a wonder Daddy lived as long as he did with all of the crazy things us kids put him through. One time in particular is when I invited all of the kids to ride with me while I drove his ONG company car several miles from our house up to speeds of 60 MPH. You know we weren't wearing seat belts because it was probably before we had them and we were followed home by the cops. We never told him about that until a few years ago and he enjoyed a good laugh about it. Lucky for us...because if he had known about it then, NO ONE would be laughing. Maybe it's a wonder US kids lived as long as we did! That's because our Daddy loved us no matter what we did wrong...just as long as we learned right from wrong.

We will be having a celebration of his life February 16th at Dickson Baptist Church in east OKC where we all went to church at 11:00. That will be the 1 year anniversary of Daddy moving into an Alzheimer's facility and also the birthday of our deceased brother. We are all rejoicing that he his no longer struggling with Alzheimer's and his mind is whole again and he's with his son, parents, siblings and many friends who have gone before him.

We encourage you to share your thoughts and memories on this blog by clicking on the COMMENT box at the bottom of THIS blog. You can also send them to me and I will post them. I have a few already and will post them for those who emailed them to me. Thanks for holding our hands and our hearts during this long marathon of a run and if we can be of any help to you and/or your family, please let us know.

Love, DebbiePosted byBobs Blipsat5:29 PM10 comments: Tuesday, December 22, 2009 Christmas BlessingsMerry Christmas to everyone! It's a very different Christmas this year, one without the physical presence of our Daddy and sometimes the mental presence of our Mom! Just kidding Mom!

Mom visited Cindy, Jeremy, Eric and her 5 great grandkids all by herself this year since I stayed home with Bill. She had a great time even though it was only for a few days. She has great pics of the kids but they are on her camera and I don't have access to them. I"m sorry I missed seeing everyone but hope to see them this summer!

I visited Dad Sunday and he wasn't very good. He was sleepy and appears to have lost more weight. I found him in someone else's room (a lady since there were pink curtains) sitting in their recliner/rocker. He appeared very comfortable and after a few minutes of coaxing, I was able to get him to walk with me. He hugged me and patted me so I know he knew who I was. Then it was dinner time...katy bar the door! He's always happy to eat but needed a little help since he had trouble keeping his green beans on his fork! I think they are still giving him 2 trays of food and that seems to make him happy.

I wish he could be home for Christmas and our family could all be together but we know it can't be. Sooo...we will be happy anyway and know everyone is safe and warm in their own homes.

Mom said Dad sang to her a couple of weeks ago in a "falsetto" voice and even danced with her a bit. Dad never believed in dancing, being raised a strict Baptist, but I guess he's loosened up a little. He might have been trying to compete with Elvis! They had an impersonator come in the other day and he was singing to Mom and Dad apparently didn't like it because he tried to pee on him! Well, not really but he did have to go and was going to go right there in the dining room where Elvis was singing. Even though Mom LOVES Elvis and only remembers my birthday because it's the day BEFORE his, I think all in all she would prefer Daddy sing to her instead of Elvis!

Mom visited Dad tonight and she said he was much better and the nurses told her that he just has his days and nights mixed up again, saying he's very active at night. I guess that gives the nurses something to do when everyone else is asleep. His roommate hasn't been there in a couple of days (probably tried to strangle a nurse and is in the mental ward) so that might have him mixed up. We know all about that mental ward and strangling the nurse thing! It's amazing how their brains work and what they know and don't know at this stage of Alzheimer's. The nurse told Dad to go sit with Barbara tonight and he walked right over and sat next to one of the patients with the same name so Mom decided it was time to go.

We wish you all a very Merry Christmas and hold the ones you love close to you.

God Bless you all! Love, DebbiePosted byBobs Blipsat3:48 PMNo comments: Friday, November 20, 2009 Time to reflect and be thankfulWow, it's almost Thanksgiving and we are thankful for alot of things, our friends and family and for Rolling Hills Nursing Center, Dad's new home! He is doing very well there. Most every time we visit, he's clean, clean shaven and smells good. There are times his nose hair and ear hair are longer than his beard, but that's easy to fix. He seems content and happy most every time we visit. He sits quietly at the table eating his dinners, yes that is plural. He gets 2 trays of food each sitting, and he eats almost all of it every time. He uses his napkin to wipe his mouth too! His color is good and he's stable walking.

Last week during my visit to Tulsa, he hugged Mom and told her he really enjoyed seeing her or something like that. Anyway, he made several 4-5 word sentences...that actually made sense! He also called me by name and had a couple of very serious conversations with me, that I couldn't understand but agreed with him and thanked him for his advice and he said "good", hugged and kissed me! Mom said he held her face in his hands which felt so comforting and familiar to her. She didn't even think about where his hands might have been previously which allowed her to cherish to moment.

Dad has been letting us or the staff know when he needs to use the restroom and most times he makes it with help. The staff is so pleasant, patient and always attentive. He's also had several new visitors this month, our cousin Bonnie and Mom and Dad's neighbor Kim and we are thankful for that.

Last month I mentioned I met someone at an estate sale who's family member had ALZ. This month I noticed our neighbor sitting outside of his house. That's unusual since I know he has ALZ and his wife was not around. Normally, the only time he's outside is to put up the trash can and get the mail. I told Bill I had better check on him. I determined he was waiting on his "wife" or "mamma". He didn't know where she was and I think he was getting hungry. It was only 4:00 but in his mind it was 5:00 since the time moved back an hour. That's exactly the same with Dad. He was always hungry in the afternoons and always got ancy if Mom was gone during that time. I sat with my neighbor a little over an hour enjoying the outdoors, noticing the beautiful colored "trees" (leaves) all in my yard from his huge tree, how beautiful his lawn was since it was free from leaves since they were ALL in my yard. He commented every few minutes he didn't know where his wife had gone and I kept assuring him that she probably had gone to the store to get him something to eat, then the next time I suggested she might be getting her hair done and another time, she was probably shopping with their daughter. Each time he seemed relieved to know where she was and that she would be home soon. Sure enough about 5:00, she drove in the driveway and he was happy to see her. I've since given her info regarding the ALZ ID bracelet and offered my assistance when she has to run errands. I'm thankful I could recognize he needed company and truly enjoyed sitting with him. It made me think how much I miss those sessions with my Dad. It's interesting that I miss that part of my Dad's life, I guess it's been so long that I've missed him being normal. I'm thankful he still knows who we are and can communicate his love for us...most of the time. :)

It's a sad/happy time for Cindy, my Sister, who couldn't make it back to Tulsa this month due to her new job. We missed but we are thankful she has found employment and we are thankful for your prayers for her too. Keep 'em coming!

We are thankful that our Mom has been in good health and is able to visit Dad several times a week which makes them both very happy. It makes me happy to visit Dad and to interact with all of the patients. They seem very happy to see us, holding our hands while walking, dancing to music and singing hymns and fun songs like "If you're happy and you know it" and "Kum Ba Yah". It makes me happy and I'm thankful I get to have those experiences in my life.

Like I said, there are my things we have to be thankful for. Just last week when we were leaving the nursing home a male resident shouted to us for help. We went to his side and he told us he needed a urinal and used a few hand signals to describe his urgent need (I'm sure you get the picture). We quickly found someone to assist him and THAT is one more thing to be thankful for.

I hope you and your families have a wonderful Thanksgiving. For help with ALZ, visit www.alz.org Love, DebbiePosted byBobs Blipsat6:18 AMNo comments: Sunday, October 11, 2009 Happy Anniversary month to our parents!October is full of Alzheimer's and breast cancer events. Mom and Cindy recently competed in the Race for the Cure runs and I'm signed up for the Alzheimer's run this month. Cindy has actually run 2 races this month, bettering her time in her last event in Nashville! It seems we need to have more funding and attention directed to finding a cure for Alzheimer's. Mom keeps saying she's going to contact Oprah to do a show featuring it because she can make things happen! Just look what she did for Obama!

There's not a week go by that I don't meet someone who's got a family member stricken with Alzheimer's. Friday I went to an estate sale of a well known family who owned a car dealership in OKC. His wife has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and has recently been moved into a facility where they can care for her since it became too much for him to do alone. He has sold their home and is moving to a place close to his wife's new facility so he can be near her. Looking through their items, I could tell they enjoyed drinking wine, collecting penquins and loved OU! I sensed his sadness about selling items that held such precious memories of their life together. I also met his grandsons and daughters and could tell they have a very loving family which is comforting since there are many families that don't have anyone to care for the patient or the caregiver. I am saddened they are leaving my neighborhood even though I only met them Saturday and I wish the best for all of them. I will continue to enjoy my new wine glasses and proudly wear my new OU sweatshirts this football season!

I'm very thankful for my sister and my husband who provide much loving support for me and for Mom and Dad as we go through this journey together. Also for our dear cousins who visit Dad on a regular basis and/or provide spiritual and moral support. We recently held a HUGE garage sale at Mom and Dad's and I know she expereinced some sadness during the process. However, as you can see we had fun helping people load their purchases! We also found some things we had been looking for and she can park her car in the garage again!

Bill and I made the trip to Tulsa last week to visit Mom and Dad. Dad was having an exceptionally good day. Bill didn't think he looked very good but trust me, he looked very well compared to a few weeks ago when he was in the hospital! It's amazing how much weight he's lost. Bill noticed one of his butt cheeks was smaller than the other and Mom said he had a bulging muscle in one of his arms. He only weighs about 160 lbs. and has a 34 inch waist. Like I said in my last post, he looks like he did when he was in great running shape except he has lost alot of muscle. Don't get me wrong, he hasn't lost his strength, just muscle tone! He was clean, shaven, had a nice haircut and was alert. He was walking well and getting into everything. He was able to communicate with us fairly well and gave us lots of hugs. He looked at Bill and asked who that monster was! I imagine he knew who he was, just couldn't say his name so he called him a monster! He made some silly faces at us and acted a little goofy like he used to. Last night he told Mom he didn't want her to leave and that she could just lay down on his bed so she stayed a little longer. We are very pleased with the care that Rolling Hills Nursing center provides. He is continuing to use the restroom on his own vs. soiling his pants and that is all due to their exceptional care for him. He is eating well and is back on almost normal food, no more of that pureed stuff. He is able to feed himself again and has remembered his table manners by wiping his mouth frequently AND he used his napkin!

As Mom was leaving last night the pill lady stopped her to tell her how much they all noticed the love she has for Daddy. They said it was so nice to see how she, Cindy and I all interact with him and are there for him, Mom visits every other day. It's not very often that we see other family members present with their loved ones. I'm not sure if it's because they can't deal with it or they are visiting at other times. I hope it's the latter because they need love and attention. Everytime we are there, several of the residents follow us around, holding our hands and leading us around just wanting to be with us. It's comforting to know that we might be making a positive difference in the day they are having. I'm hoping that if you have a family member or friend that has Alzheimer's to spend quality time with them. Even if it's only for 30 minutes one day a week or even one day a month, my point is...do it you won't regret it. They may not be able to communicate how it makes them feel, but I can tell you, they know you are there and love having you there. And don't forget the caregiver, they need your support and love just as much. Be there for them too.

This month is Mom and Dad's 57th wedding anniversary and as you can see in their picture above they are still very connected by dressing in the same colors. There were many days they got dressed and realized they had on the same shirt or clothes of the same color. Like I've said before, the more things change, the more they stay the same! Mom had a dream last night that Daddy came home and they were living in a real small house and he was normal! She said she was afraid to tell anyone fearing things would change so I say "dream on"! Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad, we love you very much! Debbie and Cindy.Posted byBobs Blipsat11:44 AMNo comments: Tuesday, September 15, 2009 Dad caught his second wind!



Thanks to all of your prayers Dad caught his second wind just like he was running a marathon! He made a speedy recovery and was released back to the nursing home! After he had been in a semi-comatose state for 2 days and we thought we were going to lose him, the glucose he was receiving kicked in and he started waking up enough to eat 3 times a day and his first day back the staff said he was walking the halls! We couldn't believe it until we saw it for ourselves. He indeed got up and was able to walk with our assistance. He was a little dizzy and it appeared his blood pressure might have dropped. He was very loving, knew all 3 of us and made funny faces at us. He told us he loved us, especially Mom and sat on the couch and put his arm around her! We are so happy he is better. He has lost alot of weight, looks like he did when he was running alot, however, his legs are just skin and bones, literally. No muscle tone, however, he is still very strong. He was able to tell us he needed to use the restroom and actually did it! He has to have help eating now and his food is all pureed but at least he still has an appetite. We continue to make the best of every day we have with Dad and we appreciate your prayers, healing thoughts and good energy. Love, DebbiePosted byBobs Blipsat8:19 AM2 comments: Sunday, September 6, 2009 Rolling rolling rolling on the floor!Today Mom got a call at 5:30 AM from Dad's nursing facility advising her that he fell out of bed, again...3rd time this week, and hit his head and hurt his shoulder so they were taking him to the hospital to be checked out! Not a good time for this to happen since it was 33 years ago today our brother had his fatal car accident. But, I'm sure he will be fine and we will too. I'm glad my sister was still in Tulsa to go with Mom to the hospital this morning. I'll head that way today or tomorrow, since that was my plan anyway prepping for a garagae sale next weekend!

Mom s Blipsat6:09 AM1 comment: Saturday, August 1, 2009 Old basketballers never die, they just lose their...Old basketballers never die, they just lose their bounce! I bet you thought I was going to say something else!

Dad was a great basketball player, baseball player and runner. I'm thinking he might should have taken up boxing since he hit a couple of the nurses the day before yesterday! Mom asked one of them if she was one he hit and she said no, she knows how to duck! They have a great attitude there and hopefully will be able to deal with these outbreaks and train the newbies to duck and run!

Mom said yesterday Dad was eating when she arrived so she quietly sat at the table since he's like a yard dog when he's eating! No one messes with him OR his food. Afterwards she took him outside in their courtyard and Dad bounced a ball around just like it was a basketball! The staff was very surprised at how agile he was. Now if they only had a basket for him to shoot free throws! Last year at this time, he did play basketball with Cheyenne, Brendan, Nate and Maddie! He sometimes picked Maddie up to allow her to make a basket! It was a fun vacation, one we were happy we took.





I'm headed to Tulsa tonight, a day earlier than I had planned since our air conditioner isn't working and it's 80 degrees in our house. Mom always has it about 60 degrees in her house so that sounds like the place to be and I will get to spend an extra day with Mom and Dad.

Love, DebbiePosted byBobs Blipsat2:27 PM2 comments: Older PostsHomeSubscribe to:Posts (Atom)Bob's Blips

Things our Daddy, Husband, Grandfather, Great-Grandfather, Brother, Uncle and best friend does and says while battling Alzheimer Disease. Some are funny and some are sad, but they are all Bob!

Blog Archive 2010(1) January(1)Crossing the final finish line 2009(17) December(1) November(1) October(1) September(2) August(1) July(2) May(2) April(2) February(5) 2008(18) December(1) November(3) September(1) August(1) July(1) May(1) April(1) March(1) February(3) January(5) 2007(24) December(6) November(1) September(9) August(8)About MeBob's BlipsI have been living with Alzheimer's Disease for over 12 years. I stopped playing golf in 2008. I've been living in Alzheimer's houses since February 2009 and have made new friends in each place. I enjoy visits from my loving wife of over 50 years and from my daughters, nephews, neices, my 2 dogs and my friends. I look forward to seeing my 2 Grandsons and my 4 GREAT great-grandchildren in the near future since they live in Tennessee.View my complete profile

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