MySugarBytes

Time 2021-01-11 22:10:12

Web Name: MySugarBytes

WebSite: http://www.mysugarbytes.com

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A year ago,on a Sunday morning, I am pretty sure that I was losing my mind while sitting inchurch, when the Pastor asked for people to volunteer to teach in thechildren's ministry. He wanted people to commit right then and there, like getout of your seat, walk down here to the front and sign up. YOU KNOW UP FRONTWHERE THE CAMERAS CAN SEE YOU, SO WE HAVE IT ON TAPE. Now, for those who don'tknow me, I sit on the back row for a reason, I want to be invisible, I want toworship quietly, have no one witness the ugly mess I become as the worship teammoves me to tears, plus the fact that the air vent blows right on me when thehot flash decides to come to church with me. I am comfortable there, and Idon't MOVE. Well, on this given Sunday, without first consulting the smarterhalf of me, GT guy, I got up and marched myself to the front of the church andsigned both of our names to teach 3 year olds. After church as we sat in themadness of leaving a church parking lot, he calmly turned to me with that lookon his face and said, "Lucy, what have you done?" Panic begancreeping into my bones, what had I done? It would be a year commitment, and weboth take commitment very seriously. I was missing my Grandchildren that had upuntil recently lived only 15 minutes away, but due to parents that loved andneeded their careers they were now 8 hours away living literally in a MagicKingdom, where Cinderella and Mickey are their new neighbors. Visits are few,and FaceTime is great but it can t give you a hug or that sweet precious aromaof a grandchild. started our journey into the preschool ministry. Wow, so many things havechanged since ours were that little; computer sign in with stickers for thechild and the parent, background checks, emergency policies, all great and muchneeded things in today s crazy world but also kind of sad too. You don't reallyget a chance to know the parents names because you are too busy matchingstickers and making sure that the children collect all of that morningsprojects before leaving. Sunday, we quickly felt our age (50 something); tiny tables, tiny chairs,sitting on the floor in crisscross applesauce style, the children were little(newly three) and we would have to squat to hear their tiny voices with our notso great hearing. There were tears at the door, letting go of Mom and Dad,there were some growing pains for all of us those first few weeks, and Ithought to myself, ok Lord, am I in the right place? After a few weeks,we found ourselves buying floor puzzles and treats, and we were talking aboutthe children by their NAMES. We were attached! I found myself looking forwardto looking at the lesson plans and learning the bible verse, looking forward toseeing their sweet faces as they worshiped in big group in song and watchingthem listen to the story. I even found myself going back to my own time as achild in Sunday School and how much I loved Miss Rhetta and Miss Francis. Iloved hearing the simplicity of the stories, told so that a child can take itto heart, and believe me they do. I loved watching how these children see no race,no color, no language barriers, how they care for one another when one ishurting, or how they give up that baby doll that they love so much because afriend wants to play with it. I loved watching them turn from 3 to 4 and howtheir tiny hands that just scribbled at first were now coloring works of artand signing their names, I loved watching my 6 2 husband on the floor with kidsclimbing on top of him like he was a mountain with pure joy in their eyes, orthe time he had to stay home because he was sick, they immediately asked me," where is Mr. Michael?" Iloved that by the end of the year the ones that were so hesitant walked in andran into our arms for hugs, that the little girl that would never say a wordwas now our master puzzle solver and always had a grin on her face. I lovedhanding them back to their parents, and seeing how much they are loved andcherished, and hearing thank you for taking care of our child. My heart ACHED alittle when a Grandparent picked up a child, oh what I would give to spendevery Sunday with my two. The timeflew by, the year was up, changes are coming, our little group is moving up andwe are also a year older with new issues that life has thrown us, so we are notserving in the children's ministry for now. Our last Sunday was sparse, I amsure that parents are getting ready for their kids going back to school andmost of ours would be starting pre-K. Iwanted to tell every parent, thank you! Thank you for sharing your child! lessons I have learned. You see, sometimes we think that we are serving to meetsomeone else's need when God knows that he is meeting ours.Dear Adam, Thank you for loving our Elcie, Delcie, Kelsey, Sunrae! A name given to her shortly after she was born by her Pop-Pop. You are the North to her South, the Boston Red Sox to her Atlanta Braves, the coney to her hot dog, the Tom Brady to her Harry Potter. You two were made for each other. The Fraternity Guy with a heart of service that earned him an award for raising money for St Jude, and continues in your line of work, and our crazy red head that empties her pockets for the homeless she passes on the street. We had our doubts at first... especially when you flatly refused to try Granny's coconut cake, and the fact that you could never understand why we have Cole slaw at every family dinner, but over time we came to understand that you could not help being born a Northerner. You two have had your struggles along the way, that is for sure, and we have watched as you have handled each and every situation with grace and always had each other's back. We are so very proud of both of you and know that great things are ahead like, the Braves and Red Sox making huge comebacks next year! In the meantime, welcome to our family! Dear Elcie, Delcie, Kelsey, Sunrae, You are our sunshine, our only sunshine, you make us happy even when skies are grey. You may have told us a time or two that we are NOT on your team, but look out here, honey, we are all on the benches cheering you on, and we will always be here. Your determination, compassion, and joy for life are an inspiration. Go, have a beautiful life with your Prince Charming, Adam, and of course, Brady and Chipper! I just bet that on that bench up in heaven, Pop-Pop, Michael Jackson, Tommy, and McGuiver, are all cheering you on! We love you both, very much! Well, I should start by saying; it has been a long, long, road to get backto the key board. Some of you have kept encouraging me to bring backSugarbytes, but honestly, my spirit wasn t in it. I dealt with some prettyserious health issues, a torn rotor cuff and surgery, pneumonia, and a veryserious kidney infection, those alone were enough to wipe me out, but nothingprepares you for the loss of a Grandchild. There is no surgery, no drug,nothing to take away that deep pain, and just when you think your heart isshattered for good you realize that your child lost their child. Your baby boywill never have his baby boy to hold, to play with, to teach, to love. That iswhen your heart starts to rebuild because that parent part of you knows that youhave to make sure your child can survive this. So, let me say, I have bravestrong, wonderful kids, who are surviving and who will be reunited one day withtheir precious Son.Now, what s up in Sugarville?? Let me say, it has been a roller-coaster, lots of lessons learned. I hate theterm, "blended family" when I hear that I think of smoothies. Youknow, you throw a nice orange, some sweet berries, and a smooth yogurt all intothe blender and out comes a creamy, smooth delicious drink. Well, that may bethe case for some, but let me tell you, here in Sugarville we are not a "blended family. We are more like a stir fry. You know, you already have a hot sizzlingpan, you throw in some spicy beef, a few snappy peas, some corny things and somespicy peppers,and let them sizzle. Sometimes, it comes out great;sometimes it needs more seasoning or gets too overheated or too mushy. Yep, weare a stir fry. The good news is we like working at it, finally. Kind of likeChow Baby, you re never going to get the same stir fry twice. ButterbeanI have realized that I am a strong woman, much stronger than I everimagined, and that even when an alligator shows up in my yard, (true story) I don tlet it faze me. I have a big heart, one that has seen and had its share ofabuse, but still keeps on ticking. I have seven amazing kids who have taught memore than school ever did, a Butterbean who challenges me to stay young and bethe best Nonnie I can be. And of course my GT guy, who is honestly the mostpatient man on the planet, he keeps me grounded and he knows how to handle thestir fry like a pro. I have friends that I treasure more than gold, and a newChurch that I am learning to trust. I don t always get it right, that s forsure and any one of my kids would tell you that on any given day, but it sreally not about getting it right or making it perfect or well blended, it sabout keeping it spicy, hot, and interesting. So I will keep trying,mixit up, make it work, even if it s just one stir fry at a time Merry Christmas everyone, may you all be blessed, may you all have peace,and I look forward to filling you in and writing from Sugarville in the NewYear!!Merry Christmas my tiny Angel. You should be here with us, six months old, a bundle of goodness, joy to all around you. This would be your first Christmas, and since you cant be with your Mommy and Daddy or me, your Nonnie, I know that Jesus has you in his arms and you will celebrate with him. I think about you so very often, wondering what you would be doing if you were here, if you would look like your sweet sister, what type of little boy would we see. I cry sometimes, and ask why? I know God needed you to be with him, and one day I shall see you, but right now, right this minute it is hard. Heartbreak for me and so many, but nothing like the heartbreak of your Mommy and Daddy. They have been so very brave. I am so thankful your Mommy got to hold you, and that we have a picture of you. As your Nonnie, it is a double whammy to be heartbroken for the loss of my Grandson and to also be heartbroken to see my Child go through such a loss Your Daddy is a very brave young Man, he was a soldier, served his country, and now he is a Great Father to your sister, and works very hard for his family. He is very funny, always making everyone around him laugh, but as his Mom, I know he holds a lot deep inside. Your Mommy is a school teacher, so pretty and so funny as well. She is a good Mommy and misses you every single day. She is doing lots better and has even helped others who have lost their babies. Your Sister is three, just this week. She is very smart, and one of the friendliest little girls I have ever known, loves everyone, knows everyone in her big extended family, she is very independent and brings so much joy into our lives, just as you would have. It is scary down here sometimes, the world seems to be getting crazier and crazier, but it helps knowing we have a special Angel up there, I know you watch over us because you send us signs, like the balloon release at your memorial when a heart was formed in the sky, or the baby Cardinal that appears just outside my window. Even today, leaving Church I saw a little one about your age and my heart ached but I also felt a strong sense of love. Merry Christmas my sweet Peter, may you dance and sing with the cherubs this Christmas, and till that day when we are reunited, know that you're are thought of, loved and missed every single day. Just a few months short of her 91stbirthday. Her name was Geraldine, but I calledher Granny. I don t think I ever thought she would die. In all honesty, Ithought she would out live me. I have been taken a back at how sad Iam and how much I now know I will miss her. She was the mostindependent woman I have ever known; set in her ways; not a touchy,lovey, dovey type; but you knew where you stood with her and shewould tell you exactly how things should be. I admire the way shenever second guessed herself (unlike me). I remember as a child going to her house and always reaching forthe red photo album that held pictures of her in her hot pants andgo-go boots. She had gorgeous legs, and was quite a beautiful woman.I loved those pictures; when she passed I asked about them and no oneknows where they are. I secretly think she destroyed them; shethought they showed a wild side of her, but I thought they showed ayoung woman, gorgeous, enjoying every moment of her life. She worked hard her entire life and retired from the Arrow shirtcompany. She was an excellent seamstress and made many of my Mothersclothes. She was also an excellent cook; I think any one who knows mehas at one point or another had a piece of Granny Cake . A fewyears ago my sister and I sat down with her in her kitchen; we weremaking Granny's Cookbook. We had so much fun listening to her storiesand trying to write down the recipes, kind of hard when she wouldsay, a pinch of this or a pat of that, but now whenever I look at thecookbook, I just have to laugh, knowing all the ingredients that sheleft out.....on purpose!! Sadly, there will never, ever, be anotherGranny Cake, she took that with her. She sat Royally at every family dinner, sometimes taking herhearing aide out and pinching Kelsey (who always sat next to her )telling her to let her know if anything worthwhile was said. Shethought we all talked too much... She was classy, always dressed inher Alford Dunner and the latest fashion in shoes and handbag. Inever saw the woman without lipstick except for the last time Ivisited her in the hospital. Even though she was only days away frompassing on, she was flirting with the male nurse, telling him he wasthe best looking man she had ever seen, and him eating it up tellingher, she was his favorite girl. She drove her Park Avenue till she turned 90 years old, and workeda word search puzzle every day of her life, she read countlessnumbers of books, and played cards with best friends, Bertie andGertie (no lie) twice a week, of course she was very competitiveespecially when it came to cooking! If you made something thateveryone liked and raved over, she would go home and figure out howto make it better, then make it and call you up and tell you allabout it. Most of my life I spent Christmas Eve at Granny's.Brunswick stew, cornbread, potato salad, barbecue, ham, and of courseGranny's coconut and chocolate cake. She also did a killer chocolatepie, but my favorite was always the sweet potato pie. We would sit onthe screened in porch at her old house and later as we grew innumbers piled into her living room at her new place. She was like aQueen holding court and opening all her gifts, half of which you knewshe didn't like. She was a perfectionist, her house so clean and organized youcould eat off the floor. I actually tried to clean for her once andwas promptly fired. She would frustrate the Pope if given the chance,but at the same time she was there for any sick friend or neighbor inneed. She was a caregiver, true from the heart. I thought for many,many, years that she she just did not like me. I think I frustratedher, and I think she preferred my Sister, and of course everyone knewthat my cousin, Jerry was her all time favorite. Not too long ago,before she was really sick, I stopped by to say hello. It was, ofcourse, the wrong time because The Young and The restless was on, sothere was little conversation and I could tell she wanted me to go. Istood up to say goodbye and she surprised me, she stood up, grabbedmy arms and looked me right in the eye and said, "I really,really, do love you!" I will never forget it or how much itmeant to me. I can honestly say, I never heard her raise her voice, I neverheard her sing. I did hear her words of advice that I have kept closeto my heart, some that make me giggle to this day, and I did hear hermany, many, times say how proud she was of her three kids, and howmuch she loved them. They taught us all the meaning of Honor thyMother. They did it very well. I will miss this woman very, very,much, and I will think of her often. With the death of a familymatriarch, I pray there will not be the death of a family. There willbe no more Christmas Eves at Granny's, no more milestone celebrationsin her honor, cousins will loose touch, an era will be gone.....Goodnight Geraldine, you left a beautiful legacy, your family. Youwill never be forgotten, and thank you for telling me you loved me. I love being a Nonnie. It fills my heart so full that at times I feel it may just burst.I can be in a real pity party, head banging mood, and think of my Eden and all is right with the world. I look at her in awe. This little creature that came from my little creature. I HATE being clear on one side of the country and my Butterbean being on the other. I was spoiled while Evan was deployed; Nancy was so gracious and good to us, she would come stay with us and I would be in heaven. She would bring Butterbean into my room early in the morning and give her to me and I would have all this precious alone time. I would tell her stories of her Daddy and tell her about all of our future shopping trips. I would tell her stories about our crazy family and all the people who are no longer here but would love her so very much. It was such a great time. I would pray every night for Evans safe return and God blessed us by bringing him back to U.S. soil. It was time for him to be reunited with his Daughter and his wife. As long as I live, I will never forget the day I had to say goodbye to Eden. I had gotten to keep her all that last day while Nancy was in a wedding. We were at my Mom's house and Kelsey was there. We had such a great day playing with her and dressing her up, but the time finally came for Nancy to pick her up. They would be leaving for Washington. I was not prepared for the emotions that over took me. I am so thankful my Mom was waiting for me as I turned around, she literally held me while I sobbed. A Nonnie should not have to be so far apart from her Butterbean. I slowly started focusing on the fact that she needed to be with her Mommy and Daddy, but it was very, very, hard. Now, there they are in Washington, this little family of three, and I have become Nonnie in a box. We facetime almost every other night and Butterbean just acts as if it is the most normal thing in the world. Actually, she mostly ignores me unless Poppie is in the box, then she is transfixed and all googoo eyed. I have gotten to see their beautiful apartment, and I get to see their sweet, gorgeous faces, and it is a wonderful thing. I do worry though, that when we do get out there to visit, will she scream in fright at seeing us outside of the box?? Oh, the trials of a Nonnie....Yep, I said it OUT LOUD and who really gives a flip. I guaranteethat if you are a girl , woman, or have a vagina, you too will gethere. I will start praying for you now, if you sign your name to thebottom of this post. I dare you.My body seems to have a mind of its own these days, somewherebetween Madonna and Bea Arthur; I mean that energy wise. Some days Ijump out of bed ready to conquer the day and all that could possiblybe in it; I can hit the park and walk almost 3 miles, come home andclean top to bottom, and still be going strong at midnight. Oh yes,going strong as in RESTLESS legs, no sleep, mind going in a thousanddirections and kicking the covers completely off the bed, fan onhighest speed, and my sweet GT guy never complains. Sometimes I wantto beat him. Then other days it takes every single ounce of musclejust to get me up. Walking to the bathroom feels like the walk to theelectric chair.As crazy as my physical moods are my emotions are off the richterscale. I can cry watching golf. Road Rage is daily emotion. There areway too many idiots on the road..... or maybe there are too manymenopausal women on the road. The hot flashes, the mood swings, thethought that your reproductive parts are shriveling up to raisins(that was an exact quote from my Dr) while your husband remainsfertile till death, is bad enough, but the fact that you startputting on weight in places you NEVER had a problem is just downright annoying as ......you get the picture. I eat half of what I used to, I walk miles every week, I drinkgallons of water, I pass on the nightly glass of wine, and that darnscale lies to me viciously every single morning. I know it is lyingbecause there is no way I weigh what it says I weigh. NO WAY.I had a good day not too long ago, I had actually slept throughthe night, woke up normal and not a sweaty mess, had good energy.Took a shower, did my hair and make up, put on a cute outfit, feltreally good about myself. One of those days where you feel thinnerthan normal; a good, good, day. I took myself to the North GeorgiaOutlets where I found an adorable denim dress at The Loft. I pickedout my size and proceeded to the dressing room. I quickly realizedstepping into the dress was not an option, so here it went over myhead. Well, I was horrified to find it was not going down over myboobs. Knowing that the next option was a SIZE bigger; I totally wentinto denial. I tugged and pulled till I had worked up a sweat and gotthe darn thing at least over my boobs. BIG MISTAKE!The dress would neither go down any further, nor would it go backup any further. I was mortified!!!!!!!! I was stuck in a dress in adressing room. I thought about calling Michael to come and bringscissors, but even that was enough to make me want to just fake mydeath right then and there. I finally laid on the floor (my feet weresticking out of the dressing room) and wiggled and prayed my way outof the dress. Then I calmly put my clothes back on and walked proudlyout. When the sales girl asked how did it do, I very loudlyproclaimed it was too BIG. True story.I am dedicating my body to science. I am sure they will be just asbaffled as I am.

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